We went to court today, so I could appeal the suspension of my license. At the end of it all, I realized that 1) ignorance will screw you, and 2) everything you do has consequences not only for yourself, but for those around you.
The PennDOT lawyer came into the courtroom, introduced himself, took attendance by reading down the docket list and calling our names, noting with disgust those who didn't even bother to show up. It was actually a casual thing, since only some of the court staffers were there. The judge wasn't even in the room. Some people brought their own attorneys; others (including us) did not. Then the PennDOT lawyer called people up individually to sit at the table with him, review our cases and hear our defense.
The first person he called up was an older black woman who had apparently let her insurance lapse. We were sitting right in back of the table, so we could hear a lot of what was being said. She was trying to wrap her head around the situation and get some guidance as to what to do. Unfortunately, the PennDOT lawyer was not there for her guidance. He was pretty rude to her, in fact.
"Look, this is your case," he said. "You filed this appeal, and you need to prove why your license shouldn't be suspended."
Oh, shit, I thought. He's going to be a total hardass.
When he was finished with her--which took all of about five minutes--she got up from the table, looked at us squarely, and said, "Good luck" with as much contempt as she could muster.
This was not boding well.
After that, two other attorneys present went up to the table and started negotiating for their clients. When that was out of the way, the attorneys--who knew each other--started chatting about her tan that she got at the beach. And then she started whining about the fact that her dad has a beach bungalow, but it was up to her to mow the lawn and provide general upkeep. Then she joked that it was something she needed to do if she wanted to see her inheritence.
My mouth fell open.
Seriously?! I thought. You're talking about beach houses and inheritences in front of people who don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of?! Classy!
The PennDOT lawyer called my name. My husband went up with me, to provide moral support and fill in any gaps of information needed. In a nutshell, I was unwittingly driving without registration tags, and when the officer ran my license and plate, we both discovered that the registration had been suspended. Without thinking we had any other alternative--I mean, I couldn't say what the cop told me wasn't true--I signed a guilty plea, and my husband and I paid the tickets.
"So, you pled guilty, and now you have a conviction," the lawyer said.
Whoa! What?! I thought to myself. A conviction? I have a criminal record now?! Oh. My. God. Why didn't anyone tell me? I know it sounds naive, but I honestly thought paying the tickets would take care of the situation.
"Now you have a conviction," the lawyer went on, "and that automatically means your license gets suspended for three months. I'll give you a two-month continuance, so you can talk to a lawyer and see if you can appeal the conviction. If you don't do anything, you have to surrender your license at the next court date."
As it happened, we were able to talk to another lawyer who was there. I was past the 30-day point from when I pled guilty, so my only option was to appeal the conviction, even though I'd already paid the tickets. He thought I had a good chance at retaining my license and clearing my name.
But it would cost us $1,500. Which we obviously don't have.
He gave me his card, in case I wanted him to represent me. When he walked away, my husband told me he'd call the legal aid services he has through his job and see if they could help.
In the meantime, I can still drive, at least for the next two months, until the next court date.
The effect of having my license suspended is that of the two part-time jobs I currently have, I will not be able to get to one of them, if the shift is during regular business hours, because my husband will have to drive me there. Also, he will have to run all the errands and drive me wherever I need to go, like the supermarket. And he'll have to drive the boys wherever they need to go. I will be pretty much housebound. For. Three. Months.
How do I handle this? And what is it teaching my boys? I could roll over and surrender my license now, without even trying to appeal, but then I'd have a conviction on my record. I could try to appeal, but where will the money to do that come from? I was going to look for a full-time job to make more money, but unless I work from home, I won't be able to do that. Which lands us right back to the money problem, which is already affecting all of us, including the dog.
It is, admittedly, a hot mess, and I'm feeling stuck and unable to move on with making any kind of positive changes.
I will have to make every effort to break through this inertia, because it's too dangerous to stay stuck.
Please send me your positive vibes over the next couple of months. I'm going to need them.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
Long Time, No Type
Well, slap me with a wet noodle! It's been six months since I put something up!
Even though we're in Pennsylvania, we're definitely experiencing the dog days of summer here--lots of heat, lots of humidity, lots of air conditioning.
Also, the boys have been out of camp for two weeks, and there's only so much tv/video games/computer/picking on your brother you can do.
It's been a bit of a crappy spring and summer for us, mostly because of income lost when both my jobs' hours got cut for the summer, but also because of car problems. Long story short, a traffic stop led to finding out our registration had been suspended, which led to the car being towed, two citations, being unable to drive for two months, to a letter from the Department of Transportation attempting to suspend my license for three months, to an appeal of said suspension, to a court date on Thursday to plead our case. (I know what you're thinking: "Really, Donna? That was the short story?" As short as I could make it, folks!)
A lot of money was lost/spent because of these two incidents, and the third and final straw was when lovely Miss Jolie, our four-year-old Irish Setter mix, was diagnosed with severe hip dysplasia three weeks ago. Temporary solution: Rimadyl. Permanent solution: a $1,700 surgery. Needless to say, she'll be on the Rimadyl for a while.
We came to the painful decision of not taking the vacation at Myrtle Beach we had planned. Even though we were doing it as cheaply as we could, we still would not have been able to afford it. We hated having to tell the kids, but after some tears (mainly mine and the Lego Kid's), Teenager and LK actually took it pretty well.
So now, we're trying to plan day trips. The one trip that is a certainty is the Franklin Institute, a cool science museum in Philadelphia. Husband won four free tickets at Employee Appreciation Day. Thank you, Husband's employer!!!!!
I've also been looking at a PA mid-week trip, but we'll have to see if our budget will allow it. If not, I'm sure we can come up with some other fun ideas.
As much as this situation sucks, here's the wonderful thing that came out of it: I realized that my boys are resilient, amazing human beings. Despite everything, they're pretty happy and well adjusted. They know they have a roof over their heads (such as it is) and food on the table. They know they have the love, comfort and protection of their parents. Husband and I are a tight unit, and this situation is not going to knock us down.
So, here's hoping that all of you make it through your dog days, and that happier times are ahead for all of us in the fall.
Even though we're in Pennsylvania, we're definitely experiencing the dog days of summer here--lots of heat, lots of humidity, lots of air conditioning.
Also, the boys have been out of camp for two weeks, and there's only so much tv/video games/computer/picking on your brother you can do.
It's been a bit of a crappy spring and summer for us, mostly because of income lost when both my jobs' hours got cut for the summer, but also because of car problems. Long story short, a traffic stop led to finding out our registration had been suspended, which led to the car being towed, two citations, being unable to drive for two months, to a letter from the Department of Transportation attempting to suspend my license for three months, to an appeal of said suspension, to a court date on Thursday to plead our case. (I know what you're thinking: "Really, Donna? That was the short story?" As short as I could make it, folks!)
A lot of money was lost/spent because of these two incidents, and the third and final straw was when lovely Miss Jolie, our four-year-old Irish Setter mix, was diagnosed with severe hip dysplasia three weeks ago. Temporary solution: Rimadyl. Permanent solution: a $1,700 surgery. Needless to say, she'll be on the Rimadyl for a while.
We came to the painful decision of not taking the vacation at Myrtle Beach we had planned. Even though we were doing it as cheaply as we could, we still would not have been able to afford it. We hated having to tell the kids, but after some tears (mainly mine and the Lego Kid's), Teenager and LK actually took it pretty well.
So now, we're trying to plan day trips. The one trip that is a certainty is the Franklin Institute, a cool science museum in Philadelphia. Husband won four free tickets at Employee Appreciation Day. Thank you, Husband's employer!!!!!
I've also been looking at a PA mid-week trip, but we'll have to see if our budget will allow it. If not, I'm sure we can come up with some other fun ideas.
As much as this situation sucks, here's the wonderful thing that came out of it: I realized that my boys are resilient, amazing human beings. Despite everything, they're pretty happy and well adjusted. They know they have a roof over their heads (such as it is) and food on the table. They know they have the love, comfort and protection of their parents. Husband and I are a tight unit, and this situation is not going to knock us down.
So, here's hoping that all of you make it through your dog days, and that happier times are ahead for all of us in the fall.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Life, Unplugged
I did something the other week that shocked and amazed my family: I unplugged. For one day. No computer, no tv.
It was everything I dreamed it would be.
I did not require this of anyone else. The kids, especially, need to be led into this slowly, and a new activity needs to be in its place. No, it was just for me.
While my husband played his records, The Lego Kid sat on the computer and Teenager played video games, I read, rested and generally relaxed. Oh, it was heaven!
I knew I needed to do something when I got the feeling that I was drowning in electronics -- primarily, moving back and forth between sitting in front of the tv and cycling endlessly through Facebook, e-mail, Etsy and Pinterest. I was connected, but I didn't feel, well, alive.
I didn't miss the technology. In fact, it was actually sort of calming. And grounding.
My husband and I have been talking about how we can unplug the entire family, perhaps even once a week. As I said, it would be harder on the boys, so we were kicking around the idea of day trips as a way of getting out of the house and away from the bright, shiny objects. I don't expect this idea to be met with happy faces from Teenager and The Lego Kid, but sometimes you have to feed your needs, not your wants.
It was everything I dreamed it would be.
I did not require this of anyone else. The kids, especially, need to be led into this slowly, and a new activity needs to be in its place. No, it was just for me.
While my husband played his records, The Lego Kid sat on the computer and Teenager played video games, I read, rested and generally relaxed. Oh, it was heaven!
I knew I needed to do something when I got the feeling that I was drowning in electronics -- primarily, moving back and forth between sitting in front of the tv and cycling endlessly through Facebook, e-mail, Etsy and Pinterest. I was connected, but I didn't feel, well, alive.
I didn't miss the technology. In fact, it was actually sort of calming. And grounding.
My husband and I have been talking about how we can unplug the entire family, perhaps even once a week. As I said, it would be harder on the boys, so we were kicking around the idea of day trips as a way of getting out of the house and away from the bright, shiny objects. I don't expect this idea to be met with happy faces from Teenager and The Lego Kid, but sometimes you have to feed your needs, not your wants.
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